During the holidays, a lot of podcasts I listen to give annual tips for surviving family gatherings made awkward by our current politics. They almost always center around that “Crazy Uncle” in the family who spews racist, anti-queer, anti-immigrant poison all over the turkey. One of my favorite podcasters has named him “Crazy Uncle Liberty.” While I love an ironic, right-wing liberty reference, I’m conflicted. Because Crazy Uncle Liberty is somebody’s Crazy Dad Liberty. In fact, he’s my dad.
I lost my Dad to Rush Limbaugh and Fox News in the 90s. My family story eerily echoes Jen Senko’s documentary, The Brainwashing of my Dad. Over that decade, he became someone I couldn’t relate to.
- He said he stopped giving money to the Republican party because they’d gone soft and weren’t conservative enough.
- He included me on a distribution list of a chain-email warning about the twin dangers of Blacks and gays.
- He laments that there’s no solution to the problem of Democrats in city government except for, y’know, second amendment ones.
I love my Dad, and I miss sharing the things that used to connect us: auto racing, skiing, camping, Looney Toons, Monty Python, and more. Nowadays, I’m lucky to get three sentences into a conversation without him blaming some national ill on Joe Biden and the Democrats.
The moment that almost broke me came last year, when I was visiting Dad after he had a fairly serious heart procedure. He was back home, and we (parents, me, sister and her husband) were joking about the presidential candidates. I made some too-pragmatic policy proposal, and my brother-in-law said, “Well I’d vote for ya!” I’m pretty sure it was the alcohol that pushed me to retort, in full hearing of everyone, “I couldn’t run for president – Fox News would rip me to shreds!”
My Dad, so sincerely, so reassuringly replied, “No they wouldn’t, Amy. They’re only interested in the truth.”
Gutted. Gutted because he actually sounded like Fox News would treat his gay, liberal daughter fairly. Gutted because, to disabuse him of this fantasy would wreck him. Emotionally, and possibly even medically. I feel reverberations of this pain every time I hear a joke about the crazy MAGA uncle.
Child of MAGA Adults 